Highlights and Changes — Call with Lindsay Hiller, Oct 16, 2026

Source: raw-call-notes-2026-10-16.md

Story Changes

• Opening chapter: should point straight at Clal's biggest pain.
• The package from Willa and Goren: the twins' gift holds a small sack from their real parents. Inside is a stone with a dragon scale in it. When Clal and Ansa touch the stone, it cracks in half and the scale comes out.
• The orchard land: fertile ground with a river that runs from the ocean. It is a special place for an apple orchard.
• The dragon's sacrifice: the dragon had to give up something important to give away a scale. What that cost is still unknown.
• Chapter 1 reveal: something about the dragon, and something about the twins' parents. The dragon and the parents are connected.
• Origin = motive: finding out who they really are is the reason Clal wants to find the dragon.
• Clal's inner struggle: he is lost. He fights the "evil parts" of himself. Josh's ADHD and life are the parallel: struggling with yourself, then overcoming it.
• Clal must defeat or kill someone: he does not want to. A Nephi-style moment that comes later and shapes his challenges.
• The Dragon Scale Bearer: the scale means magic. Clal may be the scale bearer, similar to Frodo as ring-bearer. Open: is the scale a person, a horn, or an object?
• Cost of refusing: if Clal does not take his place as the chosen one, people die and wielders are killed. He is a wielder, and he has to be the one.
• Stone bookends: Book 1 opens with the scale stone. Book 8 closes with a stone like the stone seed, and the scale stone shows up again. Clal's father receives it at the end.
• Gift box: Willa and Goren give the twins a wooden box with gifts. Inside is an old leather bag holding a scroll and a small sack with the "Dragonstone."
• Reader experience: readers have to get emotionally involved and watch the characters suffer. Themes to build in: trail, loneliness, betrayal, confusion, and Clal's discomfort.

Process Changes

• Editing path, as Lindsay described it: 1. Beta readers (three friends) give feedback on the manuscript. 2. Developmental editor (plot). 3. Line editor. 4. One more editor (type unclear in notes).
• Budget: about $2,500 for editing, based on her estimate. Confirm the rate basis.
• Homework: study the hero's journey again.

Open Questions to Decide

• Title: "Dragon Summoner" for Book 1, but the book is not really about dragons. Is that a problem?
• Clal's motivation: why does he care? This is the biggest question. Needs a real internal reason.
• The Dragon Summoner title and the scale-bearer idea need to be reconciled with the motivation question.
• Sack timing: when do Clal and Ansa find out that Willa and Goren are not their parents?
• Dragon's sacrifice: what did the dragon give up?
• What the scale is: a person, an object, a horn, or something else?

Unclear in Notes — Confirm With Josh

• "She went to Rigby / she is going to Rigby / she is finding so" is garbled. Unclear what this refers to.
• "Scotty find the origin" is likely "Clal find the origin."
• "Market says how did you call" is unclear.
• "Cloud C-L-A-L" in the raw notes is the spoken spelling of the name. It is now "Clal" throughout this file.
• "Trail lonely infusion" is likely "trial, loneliness, confusion."
• The editing cost is written as "2.5 since per word." Confirm whether this means $2.5K total or a per-word rate.