Legends of Clal
Working Title: Embers of Destiny
Author: Josh Holladay | J. A. Holladay
It all began, in the 1990’s, you know, Nintendo role playing games. Then 2005, 2008, 2014, and on from there, it just grew; that living and breathing thing inside of me.
Original: Draft 1 Completion Date: October 6, 2021 (Holy moly! Unbelievable. I know, right!!!)
But this is Revision 2, thankfully. (You would have never survived it in its rawest form, uck!)
Thank you in advance for your interest and review. You’re awesome!
FOCUS:
Simply help me understand how you feel about my writing. Is it…interesting, good, enjoyable?
Feedback? Less about grammar and spelling; more about, I don’t know, enriching the adventure along the way.
This piece takes place in the middle of the story, ¾ of the way through the book.
The Legends of Clal is the series. This is, “shhhh”, BOOK 1.
Clal is the “chosen one” and he is in the middle of trying to…well…perhaps…just give it a read.
- Josh
Notes:
- Wasn’t sure where the doors.
- Don’t understand, can’t see the door under the water - reaching into the water, where’s boat and where’s the water.
- How far out on the ocean
- Is the island still above them
- On an island, in the end…
- Out of the boat then back in,
- How did they flip boat
- Small boats, small boat
- Description
- Where people are, off and …
- How does he do everything by himself, has he never been out
- Wondering - put more of him questioning himself
- Some of the tasks seem too easy…
- Is it too easy or should I heighten this quest……..
- Really come up:
- Description, where are we
- Internal thoughts
- Worried about friends
- Worried about everything
- Leara’s elf ears
- Explore about emotional
- Internal thought, break things up…emotions and feelings
- Trauma,
- Seth and internal thought,
- What does Clal do when he touches the flames.
- What would I feel when characters go through these things
- Imagine what it would sound like in your head
- Experiencing through each step
First chapter, then second chapter…
Dialogue
Action
Inner thoughts
Sensory description
He saw a shadow across the sky.
Where are they according to each other
NOT…THE BEGINNING
…Clal searched the water as he leaned over the side of the boat. The invasion of another wave stole the moment away from him. Up they went, then over, and down once more. This time the wave had nearly capsized their only hope for safety.
Clal squinted as he gazed above at the massive floating island. It’s got to be…10 paces that way by the looks of it, he thought. The marking at the bottom of the land mass showed the symbol of a door. Then he noticed a tiny speck, then the symbol. It was Hittle flapping his miniature wings hovering near it.
Rythe, sensing that Clal was distracted called out to him, “Clal, us three can row. You find the doorway.” Then he added, “It’s there. I know it is.” His curly hair was matted to the side of his face as he began to prepare for another wave. Ansa and Leara leaned in and continued to steady their position in the water.
Clal gripped the one side of the wooden vessel and stood up. Taking a few steps forward he knelt down at the furthest point of the bow. The rising water was inches from his face and he saw his reflection for a moment.
Leara inched herself to the center of the boat as she rowed. There was nothing left to do but to search the waters until the door was found, but what exactly would it look like and how would they ever find it?
The quaking boat climbed another swell of water and this time, Clal was ready. He watched and waited, and as the water leveled out Clal leaned over the tip of the boat and thrust his hand into the water dragging his fingers back and forth. After a few moments, Clal’s stomach churned inside of him as he turned to face the others.
“Anything?” Ansa yelled out.
“No,” Clal shook his head. “It’s…”
“Try again.” Rythe said.
Clal frowned and emptied his lungs with a huff. He spun back around and gazed into the water.
Rythe just smiled. “Here comes another one...and it’s a big one,” he said with eyes open wide. “Lean forward…everyone!”
Clal looked past Rythe. The wave was massive, like the very monsters of the sea Clal heard stories about as a small child. It grew, then doubled, then tripled in size. It began to curl into itself even before it approached them.
“Clal?” Ansa said.
Clal leaned forward again and reached into the water, this time much further than before. He reached, then reached further and thought he touched something.
Further still Clal reached. “Clal, no!” Ansa screamed.
Then he felt it, the top of something, for a moment, but lost his grip.
Just then, the wave came. Propping the boat up to an almost vertical angle Rythe leaned forward and both the girls held onto Rythe and the sides of the boat. Leara lost her oar as it sank into the sea.
By then, Clal had let go of one side of the boat and lost his grip with his other hand. All three were screaming now as the boat began to tip backwards.
But Clal, he was somewhere else, like in a trance, and everything around him had somehow stopped.
“I found it!” he yelled as he lost his balance. Clal saw his horror stricken face in the water as the blackness rushed toward him, kissing his skin, pulling at his clothes, then thrusting him under at last.
Chapter 16: A Way Through It
For a moment, Clal stared into the endless expanse of blackness. The sound of muffled yells and splashing, however, reminded him of his quest to find the doorway through the ocean waves.
Not over but through them, he thought.
Clal turned toward the boat, which had now been overturned, and swam to the surface.
“Push!” Rythe said with gritted teeth. “We have to get back into this contraption.”
“This is impossible.” Ansa screamed, turning her head back and forth as she grabbed the side of the boat. “Where’s Leara?”
“Here,” a faint voice came. Leara was swimming back toward the boat. Once her hand touched the boat she produced a small flame to see where she was to help overturn it. “Still here.”
The four of them heaved the boat sideways struggling to turn the boat over amid the incessant waves. With a splash it’s underside landed on the ocean’s surface.
“Come!” Rythe said as he pulled everyone into the craft. Everyone, except for Clal, who swam over to where Rythe was now sitting, and dripping..
“The stone. The necklace. Rythe,” Clal paused. “Do you still have it?”
“And the crystal?” Ansa added.
Rythe leaned over and produced a sack. “Here, I tied it firmly to the…”
“Hurry, the necklace.” Clal said.
Somehow, they had managed to keep the two oars that remained out of the four that had once been present. Leara and Ansa were busy trying to align the boat with the symbol above them at the bottom of the floating island.
“What are you doing?” Ansa yelled as Rythe reached into the sack and relinquished the necklace to Clal. Ansa gasped as she looked back at Clal then at her hand on the oar. “Clal, you’ll drown. Don’t do this!”
Clal swam under the boat then his head popped up through the water.
Clal looked at his sister then said, “Ansa, it’s the only way.” He looked at each one of them as another wave began to swell. Leara’s elf ears caused one side of Clal’s cheek to gather into a smile.
“I don’t know what is going to happen next,” he announced, “but, we will meet again.”
“May Illia’s light lead the way,” Rythe said.
Then, Clal breathed in and dove into the water.
Clal glided through the deep, blinded by the blackness. Holding out his arm he waved back and forth with outstretched fingers. With the necklace around his neck he hoped, but the sick feeling in his stomach crept back in.
In a few moments he would need to return to the surface for more air, but this was the moment he had to find it, he thought.
And then, a glow, first faint, then a beam of light thrust from his chest, and a pathway was illuminated. It led to the outline of a door, faintly glowing.
Clal yelled, but all that came out were a flood of bubbles and his distorted voice.
As his lungs began to ache he swam faster. He reached for where a knob might be and found none. He swam around the door. Nothing. No hint of what to do. He rammed his shoulder into it while the stone touched the it’s surface.
A magnificent display of light stemmed from the stone into the door and it thrust open sucking Clal through it.
***
The next thing Clal knew he had burst through the surface of the water, gasping in air and moaning involuntarily. Death had been lingering nearby. Clal knew this would be no ordinary ordeal.
When Clal was coherent, head bobbing up and down in the water, he said, “Where am I? What is this?” almost in a whisper.
Clal slicked back his blond hair, wiped his face and spit the remaining water from his lips.
The raging black monster sea waves had disappeared. Clal turned his head in all directions searching, but only found a calm and sparkling blue ocean holding him afloat. He swam around in a circle, laughing.
“How…” Clal started.
He caught sight of the massive, rocky underside of the floating island and remembered his course, to pass through the other three doors, then summon the great dragon.
“The next doorway,” he said. He began to swim while he searched above.
“That doorway symbol, where is it?” He searched the island’s surface.
“There!” he said. “I see it.”
The underside of Edaphalas was now bare and open to his view. No longer did the cloud of magic veil its existence. He clearly observed the four markings that signified the doors within the waters. He swam directly beneath the second marking and dove into the water once more.
He waved his arm again then felt a familiar flat surface. A new door began to glow and he pushed inward with ease and swam through it.
The sting of pain was immediate once through the door. His head broke through the ice and his body began to loop into convulsions.
He pulled himself from the frigid water, out of the small hole he had created, and onto the icy surface. A loud crack split the air. Clal laid on his back as the air began to overtake him.
Clal wrapped his arms around himself and began to shiver violently. He closed his eyes, teeth chattering. He would have jumped back into the water if it hadn’t frozen over a few moments after he emerged from the opening.
Clal surveyed his surroundings through one squinting eye. A wall of fog had begun to creep in around him. Clal realized that if he didn’t find the third door soon, death would arive before the fog did.
Suddenly, Clal’s hand reached for his chest. The necklace and dragon summoner were still there. He winced as the cold bit through his clothes.
“No,” Clal whispered as he shook his head. Tears began to well up at the corners of his azure eyes. He tried to stand up but his clothes were now frozen to the ice. “No!” he yelled. “Please…help me.”
Clal waited.
Nothing, just the sound of his panicked breathing and the fog closing in.
Then Clal stopped breathing and let out a long breath. As Clal began to give into cold that gripped him tight, he slowly closed his eyes and mumbled under his breath. “I can’t…”
But, just before he closed his eyes, Clal thought he saw something above him. Small. White. And now there were two.
Clal’s eyes burst open. Squinting he exclaimed, “is this really happening?!”
In a moment, two figures were standing beside Clal. One knelt beside him while the other stretched forth her hand, and the fog was no more.
“It’s him, Larkin,” she said to the other. “It’s really him.”
“Yes,” he said, staring deep into Clal’s eyes, “I know.”
They pulled Clal from the ice which took some doing. Clal tried to stand up but his left knee gave out. Larkin steadied him with his firm grip.
“Are you alright?!” He said. “Skyla, he’s…”
“Alright,” Clal said as he straightened his clothes properly. “I’m…better.”
“You’re freezing and frozen.” Skyla said.
“I’m, looking…” Clal stumbled forward one, then two steps, “I’m looking for these magic doors…”
“Magic doors?” Skyla looked around for a moment moving across the ice, her long golden hair trailing behind her, “You mean, like the one over there?” She pointed.
As Clal leaned in the direction that Skyla was pointing, another crack split the air, this time the ice beneath Clal splitting in all directions.
“Oh…” Clal gasped.
Instinctively, Larkin and Skyla flew to Clal, pulled him into the air as the ice beneath Clal exploded, then sunk.
They brought him to the door where Clal quickly grabbed a visible handle and pulled with all his might. It heaved open on it’s hinges and the two threw him in through the doorway.
***
When Clal was through the doorway he stepped forward.
His next step met no solid surface and he fell through the air, his face colliding with a sandy surface. He breathed in a mouthful of sand as the wind was knocked out of him.
“Oooooohhhh!” He moaned, clenching his chest and sucking in as much air as he could.
As soon as he caught his breath he lifted himself on all fours, then stumbled to stand on both feet.
There, before him, was no ocean of rolling waves. Now, there were flames, an endless sea of fire.
It suddenly occurred to Clal that the pain he was feeling was a growing heat at the bottom of his shoes. He looked down at the white sand. Around him was a ring of fire. Larkin and Skyla had all but vanished.
Clal looked above him. “Edaphalas! You’re still there.” He squinted, spotted the last marking, then looked to where he knew the door must be far off over the sand. Yet, through the fire, that was his path.
Sweat began to roll down his face.
Clal began to back up, his body hunching over. His brow was furrowed and his lips began to curl into a wry smile.
“For Ansa.” He began to breath faster, “and for Illia.” He lurched forward bursting through the wall of flame.
Clal immediately began to slap at his clothing. The pain was unbearable.
“Ahhhh!” He heard himself screaming as he continued to run toward the door that was now in sight. But the flames, these were not ordinary flames.
Clal realized that his only hope was to get through the door fast enough so that he might find some kind of refuge from the misery of this inferno.
The fire began to fully engulf Clal, indistinguishable from the flames that peppered the landscape.
Clal looked down at his pumping arm fully expecting to witness his skin dripping off of his bones. Instead, his clothing was dripping off him like water, replaced with a silvery blue cloth that began to spread over his body. The pain was still there, but this strange phenomenon gave him the strength to fling the door open and swiftly bound through it.
***
Clal awoke to the sound of distant singing. He sat up shielding his eyes from the brilliant light around him. Clal felt his clothes relieved that he was no longer engulfed in flames. Instead, he was garbed in silvery blue clothing, expressly reserved for the kings and queens of yesterage.
Clal breathed in and smiled. The air was sweet. He stood up slowly gathering his strength, and that’s when he saw it.
The sea was like glass. And the powder blue sky bore no cloud upon it.
He stood upon a small island of white stone. And the silent mirror stretched endlessly on. The air too was frozen in time.
Clal’s head shot up and he saw Edaphalas, this time, gloriously shimmering in its beauty.
The coast, the forests, the wind, everything had melted away and overshadowed.
As the song in the distance reminded him of home, Clal realized he would have liked to have stayed here for eternity instead. If it weren’t for the necklace and dragon summoner that Clal caught sight of swinging from his neck, he might have settled in.
Clal looked down and grasped the white horn. He rotated it slightly to see the full measure of the white dragon etched across its surface.
Then, Clal put the horn to his lips, closed his eyes and blew.
The noise that escaped from its opening was not the same as before. Though he only blew once, he did not need to blow again. The horn let out a melody that continued well after he removed his lips from the tip of it.
Clal waited. He slowly raised his head and peered into the sky. He searched the underside of Edaphalas. He was sure that this time he would meet the great dragon who had come from the ancient world.
Each moment felt like seasons.
“Sedrak,” he gasped as Clal caught sight of the white dragon descending high above him.